Detergent does not nicotine

Playlists, Poetry

Detergent does not nicotinebut a boy's hands hold soapin our stomach's guts, an eyefor an eye can see, it isn'tin there with a black and bluethat's not flirting, for pity, for agelost and wandering into glasswhere there was a open...

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Psalm One

Lyrics

https://soundcloud.com/smiththeband/psalm-one?si=f184c5c5226042e195e7b950ee6cbb0c&utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing John left himself in the riverAs hes drowning a man of GodHe knows now that the people wont listenUntil Yahweh is weeping their blood John sees himself in the waterUnder the locust moonIn the dark desert his FatherRubs the...

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Kintsugi Detective

Lyrics, Poetry

https://soundcloud.com/smiththeband/dust-to-dust In last season's leavesWatermelon bits of you are beetle-coveredand evaporating withwing sheathes whisperingdeliver unto us the fuse-lighterThe church basement tip-line is ringing off the hookIf you or anyone you love becomes the victim of a cold case bombingYou may...

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We All Need A Sense Of Lore Sometimes

Playlists

Tracklist Seed of a SeedHaley Heynderickx - Seed of a Seed I Don't Know YouMannequin Pussy - I Got Heaven - 3:45 AfterlifeAlex G - Afterlife - 3:31 GrievingLeith Ross - Grieving - 3:17 Same Smile, Different Face (real version)KNOWER...

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Narcissist

Poetry

I am feeling Onward and multi directionalI am realizing I am painThat sits with the CircleAnd unlearns Mother's teachings mischief? No goblins nowjust orcs with jobs to doand slit-finding knife tang wordsin our Grandfathers' backs my future?In friends' handsLike she...

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Balm 457

Words

"traits that are disabling in one environment are likely advantageous in another."

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Dear Nora Ephron,

Poetry

playlist https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3pwisS4UcCfMAccNm8k5qS?si=2eIvxTg3To2CSd85gm6K8g voice written There is at least one boy who prayed that his wedding would be a misunderstanding interrupted by an obsession but instead found every moment with her as constant and unbelievable as river stones and sea glass...

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Balm 234

Words

I see how the world has shaped you, and I don’t judge you for it.

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It begins to tell at midnight

Poetry

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4b5IJWv9JQJIXwRVs3N7fJ?si=709eccc4b0e04189 If I did anythingI'd do this firstspare the next onethe note would read"imagination is a maladaptation" fingernails in the bone ashburied half of youthe women shudderand move on"let go" whips of memory and attentionmolar sharp but twisted necka drug...

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Top 10 ways to dream hyper-normally in 10 days for no discernible reason

Poetry

1.I am angry in my dreams more than I remember thembut dad turns to look at me like a boy in oneand joy in his eyes is joy in mineI cry until it feels like an orgasmwake up and write...

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all i wanted

Poetry

an air conditioner and sunglasses on Christmasthe winter sun peeling my cheek, I'm squinting atan ad for a lawyer looming above a freeway accidentthe responding officer in a Santa hat we arrive with headaches to dinnerat the last inn across...

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2024 Books

Words

2024 list of books that were memorable and rose above the noise into my life like a disembodied Narrator remarking on my life choices. God Is Red : A Native View of ReligionVine Deloria Jr Took a Native American Studies...

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but i’m the wizard dammit

Playlists

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6MazGIp1Il4jO43gzr0RAH?si=537e5b3398674590

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Hungry and New

Poetry, Words

Your heart is a candy barI got for freeI didn’t dress up for HalloweenI just sat on the bathtub with youin the red water waiting for a moment we were already inI think I ate the whole thing there Is...

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A TV Show Called Earth

Playlists

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0lquKzmYceL2ReP7ioPjJv?si=4564845f54e44c29

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YouTubers are idiots like you

Poetry

On general principle, and perhaps skillI cannot take advice from peopleSilhouetted by bare wallsIn empty boxes How are there no coffee-stained post-it notes on suffering patiently?Or crayoned love letters crooked with lip-cornered tongues?Where is that tear-stained polaroid of your mother’s...

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I saw the Beauty, I saw the God in your Suffering.

Playlists

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/722dNxwLIINfGmBqqlOSb4?si=a1f8c4a7cab14409

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entomologist

Poetry

in a childhood bug bookI keep dog-eared, water-stained hopesthe nighttime silhouettes heavinghands like bricks on my chestthe smell of pineapple rainwhen my wet face stuck to your t-shirt unfurl those back pagesI remember the best kisses likea battery on my...

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People staring at me, but I haven’t spoken yet

Playlists, Poetry

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5BGRCHE4sm7l4AwDq6kac8?si=51d4e16544c44596 I hate that you have no answersbut I also hate good cops looking for excusespour the heavy molasses of my unrequited griefinto your fillable chestthen hang up sweet iron cathartic fist fight on our tongues Do you call me...

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Prices or Colors

Poetry, Words

When I learned Derrick Bell wrote science fiction, I cried in my car,George Wallace screaming on Color TV 500 armed veterans and 9 black teenagersprobably still alive to vote in 2024 In the shadows of temporarily embarrassed immigrants, were my ancestors bittering,red...

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uncontrollably spinning

Playlists

music can be about beautiful, beautiful, beautiful repetition. https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3WVTet6YHjSntafan8FY34?si=f744479313a94e9d

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My Lungs Hurt but I Shouldn’t Stop Typing

Playlists, Poetry

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1t000bdTPYVIqldfG8ybQs?si=67017b87db3444e7 My lungs hurt but I shouldn't stop typingshouldn't stop asking Them what's wrongI couldn't possibly stop the "How can I be better?"I apologize, I meant "How can I consume every living thing in the universe?" Many economists and spiritual...

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THEY are who THEY surrender To

Poetry

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0PNcVkCIHLeKV2eGHG98JV?si=3344fbdea23a4753 Your journey is learning quickly:THEY squint at questions Elders Taught for eonsas Their Eyes widen at The vanishing Horizon of answersto notice Teachings like:do not cut The body or The shall-not-be-namedgloaming in the repetitionswill fold its origami intelligenceinside The...

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I started smoking again

Poetry

without warningI heard her voiceand was afraid. sad and friendly grateful for kept booksbut I ran too late. my mouth, my father's mouthexhale memories at the sunlighttheir evaporating under. tan legs on the dashbut my body twists at the beats...

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Sorry, I’m Busy

Playlists, Poetry

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2bhWbcxqieEijYqhaD0ovs?si=e5db166202ba4c9e Every pleasurable thing is full of t r a p s My jaw between sweat and the carpet to proveYour peace of mind is possibly at the eye of only oneSorry, I’m busy, don't we all Beg for answers...

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Dating Profile – V. 33

Words

We're all dying and its thoughtless to lead with, “Hey” and “What do you do for work?”I need to know: How do you feel when you remember Robin Williams? What do you believe happens to you after you die? When...

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Fuck this

Playlists, Poetry, Words

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3meKgKoIm6uizeBrt3W6NI?si=083600782b1841d5 I wonder aboutthe knees behind the backs of the holes in the bodiesin the ash of the wreckageafter an ad for therapyI am reminded thatI have never left my cats in a warto escape with what's left of my...

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Beliefs

Poetry, Words

Whether a hypothesis or a prayerboth are still a wishfor something to be truethat is not yet provable Baby spider or baby humansquished or bombedthe life hangs on the threadof your unspoken beliefs Ten slides pitched tostakeholders nodding while texting...

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Every time you think, you are avoiding death

Lyrics, Poetry

https://soundcloud.com/smiththeband/this-makes-me-think-every-time?si=7dcea5f68ece400ab286fe5cf286c1d0&utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing mama was a painterand dad was a working man's sonmy youtube therapist said I'm a good boy if I get good grades and pay the bills and see myself in mirror naked meditate until I see nothingclean every corner,...

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Love in our hearts with the pain and the memory

Poetry

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/66wvQbe3gFTWZHROS7J1RK?si=454708a55bf6408a what is happening is only happening Again, Spring tramples the slurry of death like a white warhorse's blood-caked haunches pounding fertile earth cracking and spurting the green orgasm of intentional chaos into forgetting the memory of decay. Unlike where...

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Sorry, It Took me a Year to Write This

Playlists, Words

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7q7SN83fWq7UbyShGPgcXC?si=47222793532c4765 Dear peripheral darkness in the corner of my room, are you my mother?Have you come to wet my eyes again with tears of ethanol or return the memories you took with you? I'd like the ones with the sunshine...

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Some melodrama does not change

Playlists, Poetry, Words

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2S0c2Uo8jsecOrodBTGUJs?si=7e76e0692795488a it ends without ending with an ending You cannot sleep without wet matchesYou cannot speak without candle waxYou cannot mirror without a bright flameYou cannot love me without firewalkingYou allowed me to burn the past too desperatelyeven though I...

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debt

Poetry

you owe a debt of love to everyone, even the nameless beings who wake at dawn to facilitate clean, endless water. You can pay it back, or agree to suffer a perforated solitude.

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Be a fucking man about it

Poetry

Regardless of anything you hear  You remain a man  And in your ears you hear the words  We must test you to limits to see how much we must love you But how many do you know  Who have not...

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I can only fall in love with wings

Playlists, Poetry

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3S8G2GJBcvPFfMDHWMBqi0?si=c245e4bf6f2a4509 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nice_guy I can only fall in love with wingsflashing between the pews of a funeral,divorced from keepers,testing a scab against The Ward's lightbulbs,call shy at a shotgun wedding,unwelcome awe in the rafters,I volunteer to handle them,throbbing with fear tapping...

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the rain in your bathrobes

Poetry

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/50xU5R954ABcTC73Z38ck2?si=defbc27500b14c6d the unsheltered shuffle namelessa spider twitches a web in the corner of your bedroommemories run like rabbits with pocket watches for all of you, the rain in your bathrobes a face of a loved onewakes you in the darknesswhile...

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Enough about me though

Poetry

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4bOK2BPJOSfxHCDarb8R0Y?si=73779b61873f43e2 I'm afraid to let you inwithout a contract binding agreementI want you to stop moving my furnitureI know that makes me afraid of changejust like the abusers you used to date I'm afraid to let you gowithout a dinner...

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Nobody knows what you must do

Poetry

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6X0hevsFLPAGJzkTAdoiUV?si=b247d750b0b143a1 Nobody knows what you must doNot even the dogs who settle for crumbs know what you must doSome benefit from your loss, Others are left behind teddy bears One cracks the edge of a wine glass with their teethAnother...

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A wound will always seem to find you, an answer is coming.

Playlists, Poetry

My princes, My boyhood friends, Do you still remember the sun sickness in the pit of our empty stomachs? The frozen vegetables cooling our wounds, while we watched the final summer sunsets outline our tree house kingdoms shadowing bruised hips...

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green shall spread over all

Poetry

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wHkYVvCck9I But green is the color of earth, of living things, of life. And of rot. We deck our halls with it and dye our linens. But should it come creeping up the cobbles, we scrub it out, fast as...

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Crying after Fern let’s go

Lyrics

Cry with loversWhen Fern let's goThe Heartbreaking beautyOf being small No pleasure without hurtSo pick good poisonGet used to taking turnsAnd leave my islandAll bridges burnSo hit the roadDon't listen to them telling me where to goI never really learnUntil...

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Missing the Family for the Trees

Poetry

Poisoned or fertileThe roots are permanent Great-grandmother handed GrandmotherHer first of many ValiumBoth of them point out the most beautiful cloudsin the middle of conversations When the speed of things wears me down,I desire euphoria and cry at the site...

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in the wake of death, you swung high

Playlists, Poetry

Wedding dress threads sewn carpet books in childrens’ shoe boxes stacked where now 83% of your practicing dissassociating is landfill photography. Is there no drug to erase the euphoria of a 5th grade swingset where in the wake of death,...

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Mother’s Child

Lyrics, Playlists, Poetry

Are you okIt must be hard on youPouring the ashes for two But I am my mother'smother's mother's childBearing the weight is the proof That my love goes as far as the moonAnd If I'm dying I'll die like a...

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Stop it, now you’re just trying to make you cry

Poetry

undoing nothing, memories from midnight to 4am, sunshine through golden hair, out of the tree and into the birthday cake, sing psalms to a frightened child, touch the softest part of your hand to his brow; stop it, now you're...

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I’ll take the house fire, please

Playlists, Poetry

grip the leftover skin and pull, separate the tongue with doubt and bite, blood sugar in the gaps of teeth, swish with ocean brine, disrupt the despair with a careful smile, will not do anything without a drug of choice,...

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Undone Dishes

Lyrics

You ever wake up from a dreamTo get a drink of waterBut you’re still in the fucking dreamAnd then you hear your grandfather crying What the sam hill were you thinkingI really wish you weren’t such an idiotI can’t believe...

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And Sagan said to Caselotti…

Lyrics

MirrorWhere do we go from here?I've beenSpinning on this blue marbleFor 30 yearsAnd it's oddMaking the same mistakes, I've learned nothing from different placesBrushing the same teeth in your image while different faces look backI'll getthe swingOf thingsEven ifI swing...

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Ignaz Semmelweis’s Lament

Poetry

In Sciens, Nemo NocereWe, the Guides and ExplorersWe, the Healers and View-changersOur timeless assembly of Professors and Prophets We, the Witches and Heretics We, the Charlatans and Truth-tellersWe stand, foot to shoulder, free of the burdens of our discoveries From towers...

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How to Quit Your Job and Enjoy It

Poetry

Before I was barreling through the tunneltighter, faster, more death and frictionfear and fear and fearflying past the flashing lights and screaming sirenshyper focused on every shot, evading every ripostethe voices of power droning in my earpiece"Abandon Ship""Stay the Course""It's...

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I keep having the same daydreams

Poetry

Misunderstanding the futureforgo your disbelief in the possibility of eating the pieDo not tempt her with any farthing-like sensibilityGet over yourself, you confused soul. Authenticity is the only thing that sells anymoreThere's not even a market for picking a sideConvince...

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Incarcerated in a question mark

Playlists, Poetry

Cover your corrupt voice from other’s mouthsDefine your only friendMiss your missed opportunitiesAmbiguous loss Infinite heirarchynuance and explicitContext and immediate concernI am unhappy with who you've grown into Divorce your inequitiesThumb your anxietyBlacken your marketsSacrilegious security Sell your many facesEat...

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Lady Lazarus Takes a Walk

Lyrics

Sylvia Plath does Wislawa Szymborska’s “Lazarus Takes a Walk” Lady Lazarus Takes a Walk The poet has died three times now. After the first death, she was taught to die as an artist does. After the second,  she learned how...

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A Madman with a Box Describes His Companion by Means of Shades of Time

Poetry, Words

At times, my lover is an artist who doesn’t grasp she is an artist She is abstruse and indistinct but to me, at times, she is concrete At eras, she is the lone sunflower, reaching past the others, arching in...

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