Detergent does not nicotine
β Playlists, Poetry
Detergent does not nicotinebut a boy's hands hold soapin our stomach's guts, an eyefor an eye can see, it isn'tin there with a black and bluethat's not flirting, for pity, for agelost and wandering into glasswhere there was a open...
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Psalm One
β Lyrics
https://soundcloud.com/smiththeband/psalm-one?si=f184c5c5226042e195e7b950ee6cbb0c&utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing John left himself in the riverAs hes drowning a man of GodHe knows now that the people wont listenUntil Yahweh is weeping their blood John sees himself in the waterUnder the locust moonIn the dark desert his FatherRubs the...
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Kintsugi Detective
β Lyrics, Poetry
https://soundcloud.com/smiththeband/dust-to-dust In last season's leavesWatermelon bits of you are beetle-coveredand evaporating withwing sheathes whisperingdeliver unto us the fuse-lighterThe church basement tip-line is ringing off the hookIf you or anyone you love becomes the victim of a cold case bombingYou may...
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We All Need A Sense Of Lore Sometimes
β Playlists
Tracklist Seed of a SeedHaley Heynderickx - Seed of a Seed I Don't Know YouMannequin Pussy - I Got Heaven - 3:45 AfterlifeAlex G - Afterlife - 3:31 GrievingLeith Ross - Grieving - 3:17 Same Smile, Different Face (real version)KNOWER...
βΎ Read more β½Narcissist
β Poetry
I am feeling Onward and multi directionalI am realizing I am painThat sits with the CircleAnd unlearns Mother's teachings mischief? No goblins nowjust orcs with jobs to doand slit-finding knife tang wordsin our Grandfathers' backs my future?In friends' handsLike she...
βΎ Read more β½Balm 457
β Words
"traits that are disabling in one environment are likely advantageous in another."
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Dear Nora Ephron,
β Poetry
playlist https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3pwisS4UcCfMAccNm8k5qS?si=2eIvxTg3To2CSd85gm6K8g voice written There is at least one boy who prayed that his wedding would be a misunderstanding interrupted by an obsession but instead found every moment with her as constant and unbelievable as river stones and sea glass...
βΎ Read more β½Balm 234
β Words
I see how the world has shaped you, and I donβt judge youΒ for it.
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It begins to tell at midnight
β Poetry
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4b5IJWv9JQJIXwRVs3N7fJ?si=709eccc4b0e04189 If I did anythingI'd do this firstspare the next onethe note would read"imagination is a maladaptation" fingernails in the bone ashburied half of youthe women shudderand move on"let go" whips of memory and attentionmolar sharp but twisted necka drug...
βΎ Read more β½Top 10 ways to dream hyper-normally in 10 days for no discernible reason
β Poetry
1.I am angry in my dreams more than I remember thembut dad turns to look at me like a boy in oneand joy in his eyes is joy in mineI cry until it feels like an orgasmwake up and write...
βΎ Read more β½all i wanted
β Poetry
an air conditioner and sunglasses on Christmasthe winter sun peeling my cheek, I'm squinting atan ad for a lawyer looming above a freeway accidentthe responding officer in a Santa hat we arrive with headaches to dinnerat the last inn across...
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2024 Books
β Words
2024 list of books that were memorable and rose above the noise into my life like a disembodied Narrator remarking on my life choices. God Is Red : A Native View of ReligionVine Deloria Jr Took a Native American Studies...
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but i’m the wizard dammit
β Playlists
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6MazGIp1Il4jO43gzr0RAH?si=537e5b3398674590
βΎ Read more β½Hungry and New
β Poetry, Words
Your heart is a candy barI got for freeI didnβt dress up for HalloweenI just sat on the bathtub with youin the red water waiting for a moment we were already inI think I ate the whole thing there Is...
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A TV Show Called Earth
β Playlists
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0lquKzmYceL2ReP7ioPjJv?si=4564845f54e44c29
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YouTubers are idiots like you
β Poetry
On general principle, and perhaps skillI cannot take advice from peopleSilhouetted by bare wallsIn empty boxes How are there no coffee-stained post-it notes on suffering patiently?Or crayoned love letters crooked with lip-cornered tongues?Where is that tear-stained polaroid of your motherβs...
βΎ Read more β½I saw the Beauty, I saw the God in your Suffering.
β Playlists
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/722dNxwLIINfGmBqqlOSb4?si=a1f8c4a7cab14409
βΎ Read more β½entomologist
β Poetry
in a childhood bug bookI keep dog-eared, water-stained hopesthe nighttime silhouettes heavinghands like bricks on my chestthe smell of pineapple rainwhen my wet face stuck to your t-shirt unfurl those back pagesI remember the best kisses likea battery on my...
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People staring at me, but I haven’t spoken yet
β Playlists, Poetry
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5BGRCHE4sm7l4AwDq6kac8?si=51d4e16544c44596 I hate that you have no answersbut I also hate good cops looking for excusespour the heavy molasses of my unrequited griefinto your fillable chestthen hang up sweet iron cathartic fist fight on our tongues Do you call me...
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Prices or Colors
β Poetry, Words
When I learned Derrick Bell wrote science fiction, I criedΒ in my car,George Wallace screaming on Color TVΒ 500 armed veterans and 9 black teenagersprobably still alive to vote in 2024 In the shadows of temporarily embarrassed immigrants, were my ancestors bittering,red...
βΎ Read more β½uncontrollably spinning
β Playlists
music can be about beautiful, beautiful, beautiful repetition. https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3WVTet6YHjSntafan8FY34?si=f744479313a94e9d
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My Lungs Hurt but I Shouldn’t Stop Typing
β Playlists, Poetry
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1t000bdTPYVIqldfG8ybQs?si=67017b87db3444e7 My lungs hurt but I shouldn't stop typingshouldn't stop asking Them what's wrongI couldn't possibly stop the "How can I be better?"I apologize, I meant "How can I consume every living thing in the universe?" Many economists and spiritual...
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THEY are who THEY surrender To
β Poetry
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0PNcVkCIHLeKV2eGHG98JV?si=3344fbdea23a4753 Your journey is learning quickly:THEY squint at questions Elders Taught for eonsas Their Eyes widen at The vanishing Horizon of answersto notice Teachings like:do not cut The body or The shall-not-be-namedgloaming in the repetitionswill fold its origami intelligenceinside The...
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I started smoking again
β Poetry
without warningI heard her voiceand was afraid. sad and friendly grateful for kept booksbut I ran too late. my mouth, my father's mouthexhale memories at the sunlighttheir evaporating under. tan legs on the dashbut my body twists at the beats...
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Sorry, I’m Busy
β Playlists, Poetry
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2bhWbcxqieEijYqhaD0ovs?si=e5db166202ba4c9e Every pleasurable thing is full of t r a p s My jaw between sweat and the carpet to proveYour peace of mind is possibly at the eye of only oneSorry, Iβm busy, don't we all Beg for answers...
βΎ Read more β½Dating Profile – V. 33
β Words
We're all dying and its thoughtless to lead with, βHeyβ and βWhat do you do for work?βI need to know: How do you feel when you remember Robin Williams? What do you believe happens to you after you die? When...
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Fuck this
β Playlists, Poetry, Words
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3meKgKoIm6uizeBrt3W6NI?si=083600782b1841d5 I wonder aboutthe knees behind the backs of the holes in the bodiesin the ash of the wreckageafter an ad for therapyI am reminded thatI have never left my cats in a warto escape with what's left of my...
βΎ Read more β½Beliefs
β Poetry, Words
Whether a hypothesis or a prayerboth are still a wishfor something to be truethat is not yet provable Baby spider or baby humansquished or bombedthe life hangs on the threadof your unspoken beliefs Ten slides pitched tostakeholders nodding while texting...
βΎ Read more β½Every time you think, you are avoiding death
β Lyrics, Poetry
https://soundcloud.com/smiththeband/this-makes-me-think-every-time?si=7dcea5f68ece400ab286fe5cf286c1d0&utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing mama was a painterand dad was a working man's sonmy youtube therapist said I'm a good boy if I get good grades and pay the bills and see myself in mirror naked meditate until I see nothingclean every corner,...
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Love in our hearts with the pain and the memory
β Poetry
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/66wvQbe3gFTWZHROS7J1RK?si=454708a55bf6408a what is happening is only happening Again, Spring tramples the slurry of death like a white warhorse's blood-caked haunches pounding fertile earth cracking and spurting the green orgasm of intentional chaos into forgetting the memory of decay. Unlike where...
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Sorry, It Took me a Year to Write This
β Playlists, Words
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7q7SN83fWq7UbyShGPgcXC?si=47222793532c4765 Dear peripheral darkness in the corner of my room, are you my mother?Have you come to wet my eyes again with tears of ethanol or return the memories you took with you? I'd like the ones with the sunshine...
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Some melodrama does not change
β Playlists, Poetry, Words
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2S0c2Uo8jsecOrodBTGUJs?si=7e76e0692795488a it ends without ending with an ending You cannot sleep without wet matchesYou cannot speak without candle waxYou cannot mirror without a bright flameYou cannot love me without firewalkingYou allowed me to burn the past too desperatelyeven though I...
βΎ Read more β½debt
β Poetry
you owe a debt of love to everyone, even the nameless beings who wake at dawn to facilitate clean, endless water. You can pay it back, or agree to suffer a perforated solitude.
βΎ Read more β½Be a fucking man about it
β Poetry
Regardless of anything you hear You remain a man And in your ears you hear the words We must test you to limits to see how much we must love you But how many do you know Who have not...
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I can only fall in love with wings
β Playlists, Poetry
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3S8G2GJBcvPFfMDHWMBqi0?si=c245e4bf6f2a4509 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nice_guy I can only fall in love with wingsflashing between the pews of a funeral,divorced from keepers,testing a scab against The Ward's lightbulbs,call shy at a shotgun wedding,unwelcome awe in the rafters,I volunteer to handle them,throbbing with fear tapping...
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the rain in your bathrobes
β Poetry
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/50xU5R954ABcTC73Z38ck2?si=defbc27500b14c6d the unsheltered shuffle namelessa spider twitches a web in the corner of your bedroommemories run like rabbits with pocket watches for all of you, the rain in your bathrobes a face of a loved onewakes you in the darknesswhile...
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Enough about me though
β Poetry
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4bOK2BPJOSfxHCDarb8R0Y?si=73779b61873f43e2 I'm afraid to let you inwithout a contract binding agreementI want you to stop moving my furnitureI know that makes me afraid of changejust like the abusers you used to date I'm afraid to let you gowithout a dinner...
βΎ Read more β½Nobody knows what you must do
β Poetry
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6X0hevsFLPAGJzkTAdoiUV?si=b247d750b0b143a1 Nobody knows what you must doNot even the dogs who settle for crumbs know what you must doSome benefit from your loss, Others are left behind teddy bears One cracks the edge of a wine glass with their teethAnother...
βΎ Read more β½A wound will always seem to find you, an answer is coming.
β Playlists, Poetry
My princes, My boyhood friends, Do you still remember the sun sickness in the pit of our empty stomachs? The frozen vegetables cooling our wounds, while we watched the final summer sunsets outline our tree house kingdoms shadowing bruised hips...
βΎ Read more β½green shall spread over all
β Poetry
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wHkYVvCck9I But green is the color of earth, of living things, of life. And of rot. We deck our halls with it and dye our linens. But should it come creeping up the cobbles, we scrub it out, fast as...
βΎ Read more β½Crying after Fern let’s go
β Lyrics
Cry with loversWhen Fern let's goThe Heartbreaking beautyOf being small No pleasure without hurtSo pick good poisonGet used to taking turnsAnd leave my islandAll bridges burnSo hit the roadDon't listen to them telling me where to goI never really learnUntil...
βΎ Read more β½Missing the Family for the Trees
β Poetry
Poisoned or fertileThe roots are permanent Great-grandmother handed GrandmotherHer first of many ValiumBoth of them point out the most beautiful cloudsin the middle of conversations When the speed of things wears me down,I desire euphoria and cry at the site...
βΎ Read more β½in the wake of death, you swung high
β Playlists, Poetry
Wedding dress threads sewn carpet books in childrensβ shoe boxes stacked where now 83% of your practicing dissassociating is landfill photography. Is there no drug to erase the euphoria of a 5th grade swingset where in the wake of death,...
βΎ Read more β½Mother’s Child
β Lyrics, Playlists, Poetry
Are you okIt must be hard on youPouring the ashes for two But I am my mother'smother's mother's childBearing the weight is the proof That my love goes as far as the moonAnd If I'm dying I'll die like a...
βΎ Read more β½Stop it, now you’re just trying to make you cry
β Poetry
undoing nothing, memories from midnight to 4am, sunshine through golden hair, out of the tree and into the birthday cake, sing psalms to a frightened child, touch the softest part of your hand to his brow; stop it, now you're...
βΎ Read more β½I’ll take the house fire, please
β Playlists, Poetry
grip the leftover skin and pull, separate the tongue with doubt and bite, blood sugar in the gaps of teeth, swish with ocean brine, disrupt the despair with a careful smile, will not do anything without a drug of choice,...
βΎ Read more β½Undone Dishes
β Lyrics
You ever wake up from a dreamTo get a drink of waterBut youβre still in the fucking dreamAnd then you hear your grandfather crying What the sam hill were you thinkingI really wish you werenβt such an idiotI canβt believe...
βΎ Read more β½And Sagan said to Caselotti…
β Lyrics
MirrorWhere do we go from here?I've beenSpinning on this blue marbleFor 30 yearsAnd it's oddMaking the same mistakes, I've learned nothing from different placesBrushing the same teeth in your image while different faces look backI'll getthe swingOf thingsEven ifI swing...
βΎ Read more β½Ignaz Semmelweis’s Lament
β Poetry
In Sciens, Nemo NocereWe, the Guides and ExplorersWe, the Healers and View-changersOur timeless assembly of Professors and Prophets We, the Witches and HereticsΒ We, the Charlatans and Truth-tellersWe stand, foot to shoulder, free of the burdens of our discoveries From towers...
βΎ Read more β½How to Quit Your Job and Enjoy It
β Poetry
Before I was barreling through the tunneltighter, faster, more death and frictionfear and fear and fearflying past the flashing lights and screaming sirenshyper focused on every shot, evading every ripostethe voices of power droning in my earpiece"Abandon Ship""Stay the Course""It's...
βΎ Read more β½I keep having the same daydreams
β Poetry
Misunderstanding the futureforgo your disbelief in the possibility of eating the pieDo not tempt her with any farthing-like sensibilityGet over yourself, you confused soul. Authenticity is the only thing that sells anymoreThere's not even a market for picking a sideConvince...
βΎ Read more β½Incarcerated in a question mark
β Playlists, Poetry
Cover your corrupt voice from otherβs mouthsDefine your only friendMiss your missed opportunitiesAmbiguous loss Infinite heirarchynuance and explicitContext and immediate concernI am unhappy with who you've grown into Divorce your inequitiesThumb your anxietyBlacken your marketsSacrilegious security Sell your many facesEat...
βΎ Read more β½Lady Lazarus Takes a Walk
β Lyrics
Sylvia Plath does Wislawa Szymborskaβs βLazarus Takes a Walkβ Lady Lazarus Takes a Walk The poet has died three times now. After the first death, she was taught to die as an artist does. After the second, Β she learned how...
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A Madman with a Box Describes His Companion by Means of Shades of Time
β Poetry, Words
At times, my lover is an artist who doesnβt grasp she is an artist She is abstruse and indistinct but to me, at times, she is concrete At eras, she is the lone sunflower, reaching past the others, arching in...
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